Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
First the Jerk cut me off in traffic, then stole my parking space, then his stupid car got paint all over my key!
Sometimes when i`m following a recipe and it says to bake at 350 degrees, I will turn it up to 355 just to be a rebel.
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house.
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
Tell a girl she pretty she`ll believe it for a minute. Tell a girl she has Miley Cyrus` butt she`ll believe it for a lifetime
Those who tell you not to run with scissors are just trying to steal your scissors. Run.
Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You`re annoying enough as it is
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
I’m in big trouble if my coworkers find out that I really don’t have Tourette’s
I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn`t really work otherwise.
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.