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I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
Being rich doesn`t equal happiness but i`d rather cry in a ferrari
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
Seriously, how can it be considered stealing when my neighbor’s WiFi signal was trespassing in MY house? I’m the victim here!!
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
Sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i can slap eight people @ once!
If ghosts existed, why are they all apparently from the last 100 years or so? Wouldn’t there be evidence of a Neanderthal ghost here and there?
I wish all my freckles would just mix into a tan.