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Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
The neighbor`s cat seems to think my flower bed is his litter box. I`ll fix that furry little bugger. I mixed 44 packages of pop rocks into the soil. And now we wait....
I`m getting older but I still have my moments...though I don`t always remember where I put them
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
I like to follow random families around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all their photos.
Dance like no one´s going to put it on YouTube.
You say hangover. I say out of booze.
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
You bring a baby monitor to the bar one time and everyone freaks out.