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"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
In my most recent survey,,, four out of five women talked crap about the fifth one whenever she was out of earshot.
2 words, 1 finger.
I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
The best stories ever told always end with the words”…and then I got the hell out of there.”
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
Every time I do laundry I throw one sock in the garbage, because I lose sh*t on my own terms.
No one`s lazier than the guy who came up with the name for Juicy Juice.
"I know im the best driver on the road" thinks every guy.
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
all joking aside, think how many babies might be created tonight on valentines day