Daily Silly Status

When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.

Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn`t fix your face.

Do you ever just get a random burst of motivation to clean your house, write a novel, paint a masterpiece or read a book ... Yeah, me neither.

20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.

This post is just for you.

I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.

I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!

This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel

Relationship Status: eating

I have the worst case of morning sickness. No I am not pregnant, my body just rejects mornings.

Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.

My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn`t believe in reincarnation either".

“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.

I snuck popcorn into the movie theatre but they won`t let me use their microwave.

I could actually watch golf on TV if Land Mines were involved.