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Let`s talk about how fabulous u think I am.
Life can be like Chess sometimes. I don`t know how to play Chess.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "klondike bar".
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
Never underestimate the power of a hug. Or a slap upside the head. Whatever works.
When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That`s why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson.
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?
If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
I eat my gummy bears 2 at a time ..no one should die alone