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I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
I don`t know how many girls it takes to change a light bulb, but I guarantee we`d post pictures of us doing it on Facebook.
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
"is Pepsi ok?" - my coke dealer, tryin to be funny
I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.
I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.
My New Years Resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic...I wonder how long this bull$hit fantasy will last.
Well I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I`d say my people skills are improving.
I`m starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
Mirror mirror on the wall, I am sexy; screw you all.