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Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
A coworker just wrote "Retard" on the windshield of my car. It`s taken me over an hour to lick it off!
My view on chocolate: God’s way of saying, “No hard feelings,” to those of us who aren’t getting any.
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
I bought powdered water but I don`t know what to add to it.
I was halfway through a recipe when I read the instruction "Now chill in fridge for at least two hours". I only managed 30 minutes. I was freezing.
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-ass".
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers get murdered in a horror movie and you relate more with the killer.
Long story short, I love summaries
I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.