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AA meetings would be better if AA stood for Alcohol Afterwards
"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
I thought the movie `fast & furious` was about my sex life. I`m fast, my wife is furious.
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
Non alcohilic beer, for people who like to pee but hate that annoying buzz.
Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says "I think we got this joke wrong."
According to my fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
Is it the S or the C that`s silent in scent?
The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.