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Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
Always have a goal. Example: Turn as much alcohol into urine as you can.
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
We`re all just nudists in disguise.
Just took a "Try Me" sticker off one of the plush toys at Wal-Mart and stuck it on a condom box.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
You might call it ‘whipped.’ I call it `guy who’s getting laid.’
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
You`re not the sharpest knife in my back.
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.