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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
Dark humor is like sex, not everybody always gets it.
I quit my job and handed in my badge and gun to my boss, he said, why do you have a gun? You work at McDonald’s.
I hate it when you`re buying stuff off the Internet and the bank calls to check to see if your card has been stolen. Sure, it seems nice, but then you have to explain to lady on the phone that no, it was not stolen, you really are the one who bought a subscription to bustyblondes.com
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
Just bent over to pick up a beer that rolled out of the fridge and realized yoga is exhausting
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
They say you are what you eat. I don`t remember eating a sexy beast this morning...
The older I get the better I used to be.
Being human is expensive and exhausting.