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Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"
Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you`ve been screwed to get there.
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
I know I`m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
I`d bite my nails less if there wasn`t always chocolate frosting under them.
Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.
I try not to limit my madness to March.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!