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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Swag is for boys. Class is for men.
I`ll take "who the f*ck would know that" for $600, Alex.
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
Nothing screams "I don`t care about being on time for work" like hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning.
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
Warning: I just get weirder.
Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don´t make eye contact while eating a banana.
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
I quit beer every time I wake up hung over