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I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Whoever is in charge of making sure I don´t do dumb stuff is fired.
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs.
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
I dont understand these pregnancy test things, so I took another one just to be sure. Just as I thought, its negitive, we`re not pregnant! Now how am I going to tell my wife she is just fat.
Girls who don`t get naked when you`re drunk.. Explain yourselves.
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
If you`re feeling powerless just remember a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.