Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
I just sprayed Citrus Fabreeze in my bathroom... Now it smells like Sh*trus
My baby girl is so polite. I told her she needed to share and she said "No, thank you"
With great power comes great electricity bill.
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
Wind chimes? I can`t see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what`d be nice? Noise.
I never run with scissors. (those last two words were unnecessary.)
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t come, let me know.