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Does lying face down on this carpet make me look unsociable?
"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke.
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
What an intoxicated Schwarzenegger might say to a police officer: "I`m an IDIOT you COP!"
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.
When I bang my toe against something it`s like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.
Going to make pizza for dinner!! Ingredients Required: Phone, Menu & Credit Card.. Ohhh I can smell it cooking already!! ;)
Porn can be so misleading. I quit my pizza delivery job after two days.