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some people just need a high-five......in the face......with a chair!
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of wine drinking.
I`m pretty sure the phrase "Did I say that out loud?" is just a way of adding an exclamation point.
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
To all the NSA agents reading this right now, I just want to say sorry that my life is so boring.
I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it?
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
Step aside coffee… this is a job for booze.
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?