Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Taking down my Christmas tree would probably just be a waste of time at this point.
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
It’s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
My innocent look never works in the nude.
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
Why would I dance like nobody`s watching? People need to see this.
The well behaved rarely make history.
No one has ever been in an empty room.
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
I lost my ladder when I was very young but I was fortunate to have such a great step-ladder to raise me ...anytime I couldn`t reach anything
"Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not JUST an effective fire safety technique, but also a very memorable way of getting out of a boring conversation. :P
When you are on a first date and she says to you: "I want you to treat me like a movie star," it is vitally important to establish which type of movie
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.