Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They told me to come here and write something funny, so I`m gonna post my bank account balance: -$4.09
Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
Teens today have it so easy. We didn`t have self-checkout lanes when we bought condoms.
Only thing harder than quitting cold turkey is quitting warm ham. It`s delicious.
Show me in the employee handbook where it says I have to like you. Go on, I`ll wait.
It’s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
Smiling gives you wrinkles. Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.
I`m no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
Hey baby, wanna come to myspace and twitter my yahoo `till i google all over your facebook?