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Why don’t television shows say, “You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?”
I tend to avoid things that make me look fat. You know like scales, mirrors and photographs
great day! laundry done, dishes and house cleaned.... who am I kidding? been drinking since 9 am!!
I have many talents, but giving an f*ck isn’t one of them
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
"I just launched a new fragrance!" - a great way to announce a fart
I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
Do you think Santa regrets giving all those bad kids coal now that global warming is threatening his home?
My grandpa has Alzheimer`s, so I just keep telling him he owes me twenty bucks.
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
Some people are grateful for the impact you made in their life…. It’s not me, I think you’re a pr!ck.