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Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
Can`t afford P90X or INSANITY workout videos? Go find a wasp nest and slap the sh!t out of it. Never knew I could shadow box,bicycle kick,and twirl while floating.
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" - 17th century sext
Waldo wears stripes because he doesn`t want to be spotted !
I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always like to write: "Last warning, you have a week to get the rest of the money together."
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin ... I donβt even know what that means, but now Iβm hungry.
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.