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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
If each day is a gift, I`d like to know where I can return Monday.
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
Paint thinner? I call bullsh!t. I been painting myself with it all week and I`m still fat.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
I only eat the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting so that I won`t be tempted to eat it later.
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume…
The hay in baby Jesus`s manger came from Christian Bales.
My credit card company called. They want me to leave home without it.
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do. Happy Fathers Day!
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.