Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
I will always be here for you. Unless we run out of beer and someone has some over there. Then I will be over there for you.
Remember when the scariest thing we had to deal with was computers forgetting what year it was
I haven`t lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
My favorite part of a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka.
I just saw the neighbor`s kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I`m thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn`t supposed to.
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
If your parachute doesn`t deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
I have no time or patience for games in my relationships. Unless by “games” you’re referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.
No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here.
I`m gonna just take a quick nap before I go to bed.
"Because it would be hilarious,"... is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.