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I just called. To say. I texted you.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
If I could have dinner with anyone either alive or dead. I would totally choose dead. Because, more food for me then.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
Is there another word for synonym?
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You`re making a scene."
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.