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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy if you put it in your stomach first.
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
Matt Damon is set to play an all-action version of Jesus in his new Easter based Biblical film, "Bourne Again Christian".
If you win a years supply of calendars, you would only win 1 calendar.
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
I can`t relate to people who "forget to eat"
The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it`s okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
If couples who are in love are called `love birds.` Then couples who always argue should be called `angry birds.`
Just realized the irony of putting Bacon on my VeggieBurger..........