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Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
If every social website was set up to look like a spreadsheet, pretending to work would be so much easier for me.
¦It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
Marriage tip: Don`t
More tattoo artists really just need to say "No, I`m not doing that."
If history repeats itself, I´m totally getting a dinosaur.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.
Someone smells like cigarettes and bad decisions.......Oh it`s me? Sorry about that.