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Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl`s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
Was the little pig who decided to built his house out of straw some sort of f***ing idiot?
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
Contrary to popular belief, it`s actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress
In some ways I’m just like a dog…. I can’t be trusted around unsupervised food.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
When one door closes, another one opens.... That`s when you realize that you`ve bought a really bad second hand car.
I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
Life before the internet was awful. Your friend would be wrong about a trivial issue during dinner and you just had to let it go
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.