Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
"I`m single and ready to mingle"..oh god, is this why I`m still single, cuz I say sh!t like that?
Apparently, the answer `I know.` is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
WEB MD should have a simple answer like “Calm down-you probably just ate too many cookies!”
"A vodka, please" "Sir, this is McDonald`s" "OK, a McVodka, please and super size it."
Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
My grandpa has Alzheimer`s, so I just keep telling him he owes me twenty bucks.
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.
Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it`s not their own.
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....
My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he`s a lamp...what does he know....
My Facebook account would benefit from a breathalyzer-activated password.
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.
Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?