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Really had my heart set on waking up rich today.
Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask how you’re still married.
I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they`re going to expire in 2017.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with pretty daughters do.
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn`t even know they knew how to knit.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
Sometimes I send status updates from my phone so it looks like I left the house.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.