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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
I’m sorry I’m late. I saw a drawing of the sun wearing sunglasses and spent 4 hours wondering what the f**k he was protecting his eyes from.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?
Sorry I`m late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic.
When a woman says, "I`m NOT crazy" *clapping her palms together per syllable* That`s universal for, "You`re going to die."
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
Facebook`s list of "suggested friends" is quite literally a list of people I`ve been avoiding my entire life.
If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................
Who can really hear themselves thinking?
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.