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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
Reverse Psychology: DO not STALK MY FB PAGE. YOU ARE not OBSESSED WITH ME...
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
3 wishes for when I find a genie: 1. The more I eat the skinnier I get 2. One kid grows up to be a pharmacist 3. Other kid owns a winery
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
Which one of you is Moderation? I keep getting told we need to drink together.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
Make librarians cry by calling it a Book Museum while taking pictures with your iPad.
Let’s have a moment of silence for all these guys that tried to walk across power lines but fell because someone tied their shoes together.
I`ve got worms !!!! ......... worms in me garden