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Life is like chocolate...sometimes you gotta deal with nuts.
"I`m on my way." -People who haven`t even left the house yet.
Maybe Oscar wouldn`t have been so grouchy if the people on Sesame Street cared about the fact that he`s homeless
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
"Three blind mice" is probably the most popular nursery rhyme about animal cruelty
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
My mom says I`m special.
How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days..
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn`t change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
Cop cars should play the jaws theme song
Teacher:If I had 2 oranges in my left hand and 2 mangoes in my right hand, what would I have?? Student:Big hands!!
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.