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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
I think the cats are hording all the single women out there...
Better pound all these beers so I can get the bottles in the bin for recycling day.
Mondays should start at noon.
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Be good to your nieces and nephews. One day you`ll need them to smuggle alcohol into your nursing home.
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half a$$ jingler.
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.
Your secrets are safe with me! Odds are, I wasn’t even listening.
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.
The record companies have done a good job of fighting piracy by releasing music no one wants to steal.