Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
I handle stress the way cats bathe in water.
If men could have multiple orgasms, lotions would cost more than an iPhone.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
Teens are always full of energy until someone says the words "clean up".
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
If I could time travel, I`d make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things.
If you lack motivation, get on treadmill naked in front of mirror.
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
It`s the weekend!!! I haven`t been this excited since my phone got stuck on vibrate.
SAFETY TIP: Lock your doors and windows before bed. By the way, I love what you`ve done with the place.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)