Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, who the F#%K are you?
“Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
If I haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you… don’t worry, it’ll happen.
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..
The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.
Still have my French Maid costume in case any of you have a dirty house. I`ll be happy to sit there and look sexy while your wife cleans....
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word" is super-romantic. But the cops didn`t think so.