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She might be ugly now, but wait a few more drinks.
That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figure he`ll just have to mow around me. I`m not moving.
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
The little piggy who went to market... wasn`t going shopping. Wrap your mind around that for a moment.
You know it`s time to delete Facebook when your mom, dad, uncles, aunties, grandparents etc... is on it.
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
Leaving the house on a Monday morning would be so much cooler if someone would yell "Aaaaand Action!" as I walk out the door.
Remembering to remember is always the first thing I forget.
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.
I would love to kill you with kindness, but all I have is this knife.