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Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
I only change the kitty litter like once every two weeks but in my defense I don`t have a cat
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
When someone looks over my shoulder while I`m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!
Maybe this comment wont be important for you guys here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it`ll go unnoticed along with some others. maybe I`ll be criticized for this but I just want to let yall know I`m selling potatoes
I`ve already had two beers which automatically means my day is already better than yours.
It’s amazing how everyone cries for free speech until someone says something that they don’t like.
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
I can`t relate to people who "forget to eat"
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.
Just got rid of 150lbs of ugly fat ... Got divorced.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?