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Tomorrow I will live in the moment, unless it`s unpleasant, in which case I will eat a cookie.
I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that`s over with.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
75% of my current net worth is in gift cards.
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
Some people think I say inappropriate things...I perfer to think of it as being f*cking honest.
Never believe a person who claims is telling the truth while holding a pack of beers in both their hands
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
Don`t forget to get your hurricane glasses before looking at it.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.