Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating...
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
I’ve been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says….
Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I`m married and not allowed to make decisions.
"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it, I better call the police!" - literally no one ever
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
My favorite thing around the holidays is being put into a group message with 200 people reply "Who`s This"
Apparently, you shouldn’t ask your wife if she’s off her meds more than once a week…
To avoid being eaten by Zombies go to "settings", "public", and uncheck the box that says "Facebook users taste like chicken"
The best thing about the internet is knowledge. You have all this knowledge at your fingertips! And we get to share what we learn with others! Oh...wait a second. I forgot about porn. OK I take it back. PORN is the best thing about the internet!
Insanity workout? The fact I am even considering putting down my phone and getting off the couch is crazy enough, thanks.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk