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Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it`s strapped to the top of someone`s car.
I`m as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn.
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
Whoever said you can`t "like" your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.
Dudes get one chest or arm tattoo and suddenly forget to wear shirts.
Hockey: because running on knives makes sense.
I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.
My thoughts should be ashamed of themselves.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
I think I may be getting harder to love.
People hate facing the truth. Luckily the truth doesn`t give a sh*t.
This morning I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, "How did you get in here?"