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What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store.... Today..!!
The only thing worse than having a song stuck in your head for an entire day is not knowing the name of the song.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
Don’t ask a girl where she wants to eat. Tell her to guess where you’re taking her to eat. Then take her to her first guess.
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face...
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
Whenever I drive past the psychic’s empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.