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Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
The scariest US president was Rushmore, because he had 4 heads
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
Don’t run with scissors — unless you’re stealing scissors, of course. If so, run. Run like the wind scissor thief!
Keep reaching for the stars but get a better deodorant.
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
Male camel toe? Dude that`s just nuts.
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you cant have anymore food and im just never ready for that kind of commitment
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools
I`m sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race.
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.
Today I think I`ll send out texts saying "Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?" ...JUST to see how many responses I will get. ;)
Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.