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One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
My minivan is always rocking, but it`s usually because I`m trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive.
I`ve set my "life goals" to stuff I`ve already done so literally every day now I`m overachieving. It`s all about perspective.
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
Yesterday I jokingly asked my wife what she was burning for dinner. Turns out it was all my personal belongings.
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning.
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
Talk to your kids about drugs. Maybe they have better connections than you.
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.