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Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
I started seeing this girl recently. She sometimes texts. Sometimes Whatsapps. Sometimes she emails. Sometimes she Facebooks. Im getting mixed messages.
If you really want to get under someone`s skin these days, just leave them a voicemail.
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
You are the reason why I bite the heads off teddy grams.
I`m in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don`t really have Tourette`s.
Kid, I can take you out the same way I brought you into this world, by making it look like an accident.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.
I can`t turn water into wine, but I can turn vodka into dinner
Ever wonder if we`re just a reality TV show for a more intelligent species?