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How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets.
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
I hope your day is as nice as your butt.
The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
I’d go to the gym but I’m still tinkering with the ultimate workout playlist I started three years ago.
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
I enjoy short walks to the fridge
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
I hate waiting until I`m dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
I was always a believer in evolution....then I spent an hour at Walmart and now I`m not so sure