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What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
Do you think that the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "if you build it they will come"?
People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that`s called a Turn Signal.
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
If my jokes offend you: 1. I’m sorry. 2. It won’t happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You’re a wussy.
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
Teacher:If I had 2 oranges in my left hand and 2 mangoes in my right hand, what would I have?? Student:Big hands!!
If you read my entire Facebook timeline from the beginning, you can witness my descent into madness
Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.