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Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Guys i did not copy or edit this status of mine.Please believe this is my own idea!
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
She might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty`s only a light switch away.
"No! Don`t go into the church! Nooo!" ... "Honey, what movie are you watching?" ... "Our wedding video."
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn`t doing his part of the chores around here
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
You know you`re desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of Google.
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
I asked my wife if we could get a hot young nanny. Of course she got mad and said "No!". For one thing, we don`t have any kids...