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Not sure why my wife is only mad at me, our 4 year old forgot her birthday too.
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
When I was your age we had to open all doors by ourselves ... None of them knew we were coming.
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers
It`s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it`s that only 10% of people use their brains.
Whenever I watch the TV show Friends, I imagine I`m the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him.
Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?