Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
I was getting really depressed today but then I realized double cheeseburgers exist
It is literally impossible to prove that Harry Potter wasn`t just in his parents basement on acid the whole time
Life Tip: Tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry, they will clean it for free!
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
Dear God, thank you for all the animals, and plants, and insects, but were spiders really necessary?
When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones? I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
I wish tanning beds could pop you out like a toaster when you`re finished.
Just got nominated for an Oscar for my role as "man surprised his credit card was declined"
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.
Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?" but they don`t stop long enough for you to reply!