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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
I wish more people were fluent in silence.
3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday...
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
No great story started with someone drinking water.
Sex, drugs, and candy crush all have one thing in common. It’s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
I have a black belt in leather
Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
Just made eye contact with a guy while licking my lips ... I think I need to kill him now.
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
I would want to change my name to `Nobody` on Facebook. So when someone updates something stupid it says `Nobody likes this`
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.