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you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
I still miss my ex. But my aim is gettin` better.
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
Creating a password in this day and age After the 9th try OKNowI`mReallyMad50BoiledCabbagesUpYourArseIfYouDon`tGiveMeAccessImmediately! `Sorry, that password is already in use`
Not sure yet why this cookie dough has baking instructions on the package.
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
Love is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night…he hypnotized 7 guys…then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled F*CK ME ... what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.