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How can so many movies be “based on real events” when no one farts?
The only government agency that listens to you is the NSA.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
Some of you are so dumb, I don`t even know how you found the internet.
Everyone has that one friend that can turn any conversation into something dirty....I am usually that friend.
My neighbor just spent $237.43 at the vet, that`s $1,662.01 in dog dollars.
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
It only takes one slow walking person in the grocery store to destoroy the illusion that I am a nice person.
I kinda dig you, want to hang out and stuff until we hate each other?
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
Go home Polar Vortex....yer drunk.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
I`m having an out of money experience.
I can`t wait to miss the upcoming season of American Idol.
When a woman asks you for your opinion all she really wants to hear is her opinion repeated word for word but in your voice.