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Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
I swear that logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
Don`t ask me how my night was coz I don`t know. I was asleep.
If Candy Crush had a face, I`d punch it.
nothing says i love you like, "im going to buy you new duct tape for your taillight, what color you want? "
Who`s this "moderation" people keep telling me to drink with?
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
If I could be any animal I`d pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
Best Pregnancy T-Shirt… “9 Months Sober”
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong
The problem with drinking with people from work is they`re the ones I bitch about when I`m drunk.