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There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life`s face to find she has deflated in the night.
Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they`re not passing you some fake sh!t.
I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
I`m watching a show about surviving in the wild in case I ever decide to log off and go outside.
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you have tits. Simple as that
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
If I was rich, I´d do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner.
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...