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Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
I like to smile at people who don`t like me because I`m an asshole
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.
I will always be here for you. Unless we run out of beer and someone has some over there. Then I will be over there for you.
Me being rude: Shut the f*ck up. Me being polite: Please shut the f*ck up.
Do you think Santa regrets giving all those bad kids coal now that global warming is threatening his home?
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
I`ve already had two beers which automatically means my day is already better than yours.
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads.
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
Note to self: Thanks for always being there.
B!tch, please! You`re so fake, even barbie is jealous of you
Pro tip: Go the the gym on one of those 1 day free passes, take 365 selfies then post one every day.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.
I asked my wife if we could get a hot young nanny. Of course she got mad and said "No!". For one thing, we don`t have any kids...