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Why are there stitch marks on zombies? Who the heck is giving them medical attention?!
you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
I`m going to a wedding rehearsal this weekend. Wedding rehearsals are the only time you see someone practice making a mistake.
Nobody knows how much work I put into looking only this fat.
I don`t like the term "stalker". I prefer "unpaid private investigator".
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching. -Bfanch
I don’t really forgive people I just pretend like it`s okay and wait for my opportunity to destroy them.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
pharmacy was out of my BP meds...so i bought a baseball bat instead..that works much faster
It takes patience to listen. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
Remember....... Its not drinking alone if you`re on Facebook ;)
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."