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I am sorry I had feelings. I`ll replace them with jokes right away.
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
The only yoga stretch I’ve perfected is the yawn.
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
Got kicked out of Ziggy`s. " supposably" your not allowed to stand on their scales. Says I broke them. On the brighter side I weigh 135900 grams
I wish we could donate body fat to those in need.
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free
I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?
I wish I was Robinson Cruso. Coz, I can have `Friday` everyday :) TGIF guys..cheers ;)
I’m glad I’m me, I don’t think anybody else could take it.
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D