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I’m sorry I’m late. I saw a drawing of the sun wearing sunglasses and spent 4 hours wondering what the f**k he was protecting his eyes from.
Sometimes I think if it weren`t for the gutter my mind would be homeless...
If they put beer in CapriSun pouches I could fit a lot more in my cooler. Just thought I`d throw that out there, people who invent sh!t.
I wonder if the psycho hitchhiker ever gets picked up by the psycho driver. Now there`s a movie I`d pay to see.
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
Went looking for camouflage underwear today.....couldn`t find any
If I were Noah, I’d be grabbing two of every bottle of alcohol
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV and having a beer.
Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?
Designated Driver is just a nicer way of saying, you can come with us, but nobody wants to deal with your drunk a$$.
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.