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The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
Pretending to be a morning person is exhausting.
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
Gray hair is the human body`s equivalent of low toner.
Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things.
I have just one thing to ask you people who say the memory is the first thing to go: What did I come in here for?
Someone asked me today if ive ever been with two women at the same time. But why would I want to disappoint two women at the same time?
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a complete loser.
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
If you want funny, get off Facebook and watch the news...
My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you`ll need a shovel and map to find him.