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A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don`t get her a bathroom scale. Just sayin"
The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled up, I’ve forgotten where I was going.
That kid looks like me. Somebody should warn him.
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
I`m beginning to think that my destiny in life is just to be a bad example that other people can learn from.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people
I hung a horseshoe above the door for goodluck ... My wife still came home ... Superstitions are stupid.
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
If your parachute doesn`t deploy don`t worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.